Living for yourself or living for others?
If we want to count the thoughts that go through our minds over the course of a day, it would be complicated. Our own joys, our own tastes, our own problems (let’s not forget them), in short, we will think more about ourselves than about anything else. It is logical to think so, at least. You will ask yourself if the purpose of this life is living for yourself or living for others. I think that we should do both and live for ourselves while also living for others.
When should we spend more time for others than on ourselves?
A significant amount of thought goes to our loved ones, spouse, family, children, friends, parents and kids. When we live only for ourselves, life seems to us to be short and insignificant, it begins where we began to consciously, and ends with the end of our limited life! When we live for others, life seems long and profound, starting from where humanity began, and extending after leaving us to the face of this earth!
Life is about counting of years, but in the counting of feelings. We live for ourselves a double life, when we live for others, and the more we double our sense of others, the more we double our sense of our life, and ultimately double this life itself!
It has been proven that the time that our mind dedicates to the rest of the world sometimes turns out to be too much in relation to the time that we could need. Sometimes our heart, our mind or our will itself is surprised by the lack of space, being occupied by things that are alien to us and that are out of our control. There are totally negative phrases that make us feel bad by making us see that we have been bad, or at least not good enough for someone else. Thoughts not dedicated to us, in our defense, but to others.
Excessive thinking about others can cause burn out and we should avoid this excessive thinking.
Where is the rule written so that we can consider ourselves selfish? How many times do we have to look out for ourselves and not the rest? Is it wrong to be so? Think of yourself, be your priority. After all, everyone has their own rules of life, and we all try to look at each other in a way that makes us the good guys.
We rationalize, argue, or else assume we are bad guys, and punish ourselves. And it is logical. After all, we are the protagonists of our stories. From time to time, we find ourselves unwittingly caught up in a logic that does nothing but harm us. And we find ourselves giving away time, resources and strength to people who seem to have no other end in life but to crush us.
And we can’t stop. We fear the negative consequences. We are terrified of turning away from the supposed path that has been marked out for us. Reflecting on and rationalizing these thoughts; these messages, with calmness and calm, can be the exercise that our human condition is most grateful for.
That little space of time in which after reflection we realize “Hey, maybe it’s not so bad. Maybe I need the time for myself.
When Should You Stop Living For Others And Start Living For Yourself?
There are two kinds of people in this world: those who think of others first when they have to make a choice, and those who think of themselves first. There are few people who strike a balance between the two, and whatever you do you will find someone who will hold it against you. Even if you have been giving to others all your life, the moment you decide that your interests are ahead of you some morally superior sage will call you selfish.
This is life, everyone has their own way of acting and seeing things, and we are all at the mercy of others’ criticism. But that doesn’t mean that we have to bow to others’ opinions and do or say what others expect just to please them.
By this we don’t mean that it’s okay to be selfish; we mean that sometimes you have to be a little selfish and put what you want before what others want, no matter what your opinion is. Some will call it selfishness and others will call it “thinking of oneself”, let each one give it the name they wants, but you have to be ready not to surrender and give up your thoughts.
We are talking about the soft version of what is known as ethical selfishness, according to which people should morally act in their own interest, being able to help others as long as that act benefits us. Perhaps we should change the term ‘moral duty’ to ‘moral necessity’ since no one can live a full life without ever thinking of himself.
No matter how selfless and good a person you are, always living by putting others first burns you out. It burns you out so much that there comes a time when even you are not clear about who you are, when you have become someone who has stopped pursuing his or her own happiness to share the joys of others.
In a way, you’ve stopped being the one in charge, and everything you do is automatic. That it’s all very well to think of others and try to make them happy, but there is a limit to everything. That barrier that should never be overcome is the moment when your existence has no meaning if not for the happiness of someone who is not you. If you have reached that situation, please be a little ‘selfish’ for your own sake. Give yourself the desire to regain control, to be aware of yourself and your needs, and let them say what they want.
Although the ideal is to find the perfect balance between thinking about yourself and thinking about others, we must accept that we can never find it, for the simple fact that what you may see as a balance for the other parts of the equation may not be. So the best thing we can do is to simply stop making all the decisions with our heads and listen to that inner voice that says “what you need now is this”.
How do I start living for myself and not for others?
Fighting for one’s own projects instead of always fighting for others is necessary for progress in life.
A funny thing happens in personal relationships: once we have decided to fight for the well-being of the people around us and start sacrificing for others, our past acts of kindness can become the obstacle.
The reason for this is that if everyone assumes that we are there for what others need, we stop offering our help and our efforts become a sign of selfishness, or even cruelty. However, it is possible to break this dynamic and fight for oneself instead of always fighting for others.
6 keys to living for me and not for others
In order to gain autonomy and freedom, it is necessary to act on our beliefs and thoughts as well as on our habits. Let’s see how to do it. To answer the question of: how to start living for me?
Work on self-satisfaction
Some say that those who live by and for others do so because they experience satisfaction. These kinds of statements are clearly an exaggeration, but they do contain some truth.
What makes people angry with themselves and their lives, and deprives them of the pleasures of happiness and self-satisfaction, is that they are almost ignorant of the overwhelming blessings that God Almighty has bestowed upon them, and therefore they are dissatisfied with what is in their hands, and ignore the innumerable and immeasurable blessings that God has bestowed upon them
Take a detached perspective
In situations where there are clashes of interest that are usually resolved in one person by always accepting the conditions of the others, it is good that the person who sacrifices himself learns to adopt a more objective perspective.
To do this, it is necessary to stick to data that are undeniable and to draw conclusions from reflecting on them. To do this, it may even be useful to use pen and paper and write down on a table the advantages and disadvantages of accepting such a proposal for oneself, on the one hand, and for the other person or organization, on the other.
Learn to say no
Something as simple as saying no to certain requests does a lot of good.
What is complicated in these cases is knowing how to manage the anxiety that can be produced by situations in which we want to decline one of these “invitations” to make an effort so that someone else can benefit from it. In this sense there is no more trick than to oblige oneself to this, to propose firmly that, whatever happens, we must respond with a clear “no”.
Accept the possibility of letting people go
There are relationships that, although in many cases started well, over time are only maintained through emotional blackmail and entrenched conflict. This is natural and over time it is almost inevitable that we do not go through one of these situations.
But more important than the pain that toxic relationships like these can cause us, is to accept that it is okay to cut off contact with someone who has been in our daily lives for a long time. Basically, because the opposite is true, these people can use us as “hostages” to do what they want in exchange for not leaving our side.
Respect and praise yourself to reach self-esteem
Beginning to respect oneself is a way of making our actions begin to form new beliefs about one’s identity. Because if we treat ourselves with respect and affection, in the end our own self-image has many possibilities of adjusting to this new reality, getting rid of thoughts of guilt. Self-esteem is also key in this process.
Throw yourself into new personal projects
If everyone seems very busy and asks you for things to help accomplish other people’s goals, it may also be partly because you don’t have any important goals to accomplish. So, start adventures and develop projects that really interest you. In this way, it will come out of you to use your time in activities that fill you up, and not always to please others.